She'll probably buy me deep-v's

The wife:

Oh my gosh! Today's Groupon is $25 for $50 credit at American Apparel today! Wait. Why are there only 77 sold?

Me:

Yeah, hipsters aren't up this early. Better hurry before Groupon is crushed under the weight of all hipsterdom.

BOUTIQUE$.com

The wife:

Where's the men's fashion and the affordable fashion on Boutiques.com?

Me:

Oh, you'll find those filed under the " not profitable for us" category.

Foiled again.

The Wife:

We're just now starting week three. I don't want to have to do repeats already. Where are your new American Apparel polos?

Me:

In the laundry.

The Wife:

Still?

Me:

Yes.

The Wife:

Look, I don't want you not doing laundry so that I'm forced to have to pick from your pre-makeover clothes!